Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
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Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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