he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
