She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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