he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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