dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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