Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
