yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
