OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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