Kiss
Puke
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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