Cold hands, warm shart.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize