I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
