Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
