I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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