when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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