is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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