You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
