I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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