just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
