trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
