I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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