Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
