We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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