if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
