Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
