my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
