whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
