I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
