Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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