what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
