Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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