i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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