We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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