I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
