He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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