Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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