if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
