Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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