The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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