So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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