The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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