Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
