It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
