just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
