Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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