i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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