You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
