oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
