i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
