you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
