She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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