Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
