Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
