Duck Duck Cougar?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
