I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
