Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
