You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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